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Are All the Thoughts you have True?

Inadequate relationships

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There's no denying that a poor relationship can be a problem. A totally inadequate relationship with your partner can be very, very frustrating (I've been there!). It can even cause you to move out of the house and get a divorce, which then adds financial stress to the mix.

Yet you can choose to blame your partner or the situation, and let negative thoughts prey on you. Or you can choose to view the situation from a less stressful perspective.

Perhaps this relationship is helping you develop more patience. Could it encourage you to become more loving, or more demonstrative in your love? Will it assist you to improve your tolerance of other people and their foibles - recognizing that you also have foibles to some degree? Are you maturing to be less controlling, to show more acceptance? Etc, etc...

What personal growth opportunities does this particular relationship give you? If it can afford you such outstanding benefits, then how can it be all bad? Could it be a blessing in disguise?

As a general rule - leaving children and their parents aside - you have freely chosen to be in your relationships. And when things don't go the way you think they should, then you forget this truth and your part in the shared responsibility brought by that choice.

Such thoughts are entirely self-sabotage, they enable you to paint yourself as an innocent victim, and the other person as the villain. But this stance gives your power away and causes you more stress! Rather take 100% responsibility - but not blame - for your part, no matter how small, and then you can do something about it.

Food for Thought

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"The purpose of relationships is not happiness, but transformation."

Andrew Schneider


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