www.ReduceStressNow.net     Principles

Living up to Principles

“I’m a real estate investor,” he said. “I do it both for myself and for clients who want the amazing returns, but don’t have the time or expertise to manage their investments themselves.”

“That sounds very interesting,” I replied, “I have some money to invest, let’s explore the possibilities.”

So we’d corresponded by email and yes, his proposal seemed very attractive. It looked like a great viable investment.

But in the past, I’ve been misled by people not following through on their word. My previous experience had highlighted the problem - people don’t always treat you the way they would like you to treat them. They don’t realize the Golden Rule is just not esoteric theory when it says:

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you

It emphasizes the highly practical consequence of an unequivocal natural law - what goes around, comes around. Once I’d realized that this was the cause of so many of my problems, then the solution seemed obvious. I needed to check first!

So I asked him if he was trustworthy

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My email had asked Charles if he would agree to this vital principle in our dealings. Yet his reply just repeated the reasons why this investment was such a wonderful idea, and omitted any reference to my query.

Then I repeated my question in a second email. But it was again ignored.

Regretfully, I then decided to pass on what had seemed to be an outstanding investment, just because Charles had been unwilling to agree to this principle.

Mind you, at least he had been honest. His self-sabotage was not as strong as it could have been, he could have said he was trustworthy - and then reneged on his word!

The Dollar Signs in their Eyes

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Have you ever seen the dollar signs in the eyes of a salesman as he insists that his product is perfect for you? When he seems more concerned about what he's going to get from the deal than what you're going to receive?

Contrast this with how you respond when the salesman's context is how good it is for you, and whether it really does suit your exact needs. You can generally tell where he's coming from by what he says and what he does...

Of course. We'd all rather buy from the person whose main concern is for our welfare. We tend to run from anyone who's only in it for the money he's going to get from us.

Is it a good deal for both of us?

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Doesn't it rather make sense to change the usual "willing buyer, willing seller" principle that most people use? To work with one in which the world would be a better place.

You can do your part in this by adopting a different perspective. A more effective context that explicitly says:

Do not take advantage of anybody else!

I do this. Now, when I choose to enter a deal, I want synergy. I want us both to win. So I only enter it under the following conditions:

  • If I knew what you know about the deal, if I were in your shoes, then I'd still go ahead
  • If you knew what I know about the deal, if you were in my shoes, you'd still go ahead
  • Which means that whichever side of the deal we are on - my side, or your side - we would both still want to do it.
This ensures that whether we look at it from my side - or your side - it is a good deal. From both sides. For both of us.

So I choose not to take advantage of you just because I may know something that you don't know. Nor do I fail to give you value for money for the services you pay for. And you reciprocate.

This does not discount the value of specialized expertise, training, and/or capabilities, of course. This doesn't mean you can't buy or sell your expertise, your time, or pay someone to teach you what you don't know. It means you're honest, they can trust you to be completely fair. They know you'll do what you've agreed to do providing they do the same.

Yet if I don't fulfill my side of the bargain, that doesn't mean you should be forced to no matter what; and vice versa. Both sides need to deliver. Any successful deal requires both sides to follow through on their obligations.

What happens when people know you subscribe to the wisdom in this principle? Your trustworthiness builds relationships that prosper long-term because they deliver long-term. When relationships are built on mutual trust, how can they do otherwise?

Some Consequences are More Desirable than Others

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This view of looking out for everyone, not just ourselves, is part of the new approach to life. One which, if we are to solve the problems which face us, we would do well to adopt.

Nowadays, the world has dramatically increased its capability to kill both people and nations, yet we have not yet increased our ability to get along with each other. This reflects a mutual lack of trust. In our view, this principled approach - if you knew what I knew, you would still think it's a good deal - would help solve this problem.

So if we can agree to work with each other on this basis then we'll work together. If you choose differently, then that's not wrong, that's just being different. But let us know if you are, or are not, willing to work on this principled basis, and then we can choose accordingly.

Remember that all actions have consequences, and some consequences are more desirable than others! To us, it makes sense that everyone only take actions which have desirable consequences. Just imagine, being able to fully trust all your business partners!

Trust has to start somewhere. As many, including President John F. Kennedy, have asked throughout the ages:

"If not now, when? If not you, who?"

Wanna Reduce your Stress?

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Food for Thought

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"To make the world a better place, make a better you."

(Author unknown)

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